We're eight weeks past The Event and life and recovery are going well. The "helpers" have made all the difference: OT, PT and ST women have all been amazing, kind, patient and incredible. We're so lucky. Today we visit with a cardiologist. Sometimes the collective knowledge and testing required to determine where a stroke may have originated requires a look-see from several specialists to hopefully do all we can to ward off another--godforbid--stroke.
We've returned to several activities we enjoy: hiking being foremost on our list. It seems to work well when the crowds are sparce and the terrain isn't too challenging. We took a beautiful stroll through a forest this past weekend over well-cleared trails, with little inclines and beautiful scenery. He loved it, and also took pride in the fact he was able to accomplish it.
And then I had a craving...for cake.
This is THE cardamom cake from Food 52--I needed a moist, spice-laden little something to lift my spirits after ALL of it/life hitting at once. This was the test of my wellness, a measurement of whether or not I needed an intervention or personal time out. (I do need time for myself as was recently pointed out to me at a recent stroke survivors meeting). Someone pointedly asked me: What are you doing to take care of yourself? Um...not a whole lot...and that's apparently not good. I was assigned to then take the next week to plan for and engage in something I'd enjoy. Well, cake...that'll work.
I live more in the here and now than I ever have in my over 60-plus years on the planet. Yes, planning is always necessary-- we have schedules to keep, but staying present has been the gift I received as an outcome of this nightmare. I'm no longer as bothered by those daily annoyances. (For the most part anyway!) Having people coming and going in my home set a new reality for me, as did The Event. I have a "Let That Sh*t GO" magnet attached to my fridge. It's my answer to a lot--a mantra--along with my gratitude:
let. it. go.
A reminder to stay in this Let It Go space came over a week ago when our dishwasher decided to spring a leak. J found me on the floor in the kitchen in tears...sort of my last straw after everything else. No. No. No. It's replaceable, he said...everything is.
