Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies (from Alice Medrich's: Chewy, Gooey, Crispy, Crunchy Melt-in-Your-Mouth Cookies!)

The challenge was: bake something to ease the pain. Emotional pain. This has been a rough two weeks. Not only have we dealt with the recent illness of our baby girl, my husband received a bit of bad news Monday after a nearly four hour doctor appointment. Yes, I freaked out after the email came in mid-afternoon: Still at doc. WHAT?! So then I called him. Then wept. I can't go into it now, but will say, we have a long summer ahead of us. We are still absorbing the news. I booked a flight for my sister to come visit at the end of the month. Sister time is mandatory right now. Eating three of these cookies straight from the oven last night was mandatory, too. It didn't solve our problems, but boy did they ease at least some of the pain.

Anything life altering knocks the wind out of me. I hate change. I like routine. Life disruptions are in the "change" category and usually I cry over them. I am a big cryer. Big. I have no "water works" control buttons. I could be carrying on a conversation with you, tear up, plow right through it and be done with it. Once the initial crying is over, I'm good after that. I've been journaling at night about all of this recent "life stuff"--right before bed. I've always journaled. I have journals all over this house. I believe strongly in the power of the journal. If nothing else, simply stopping at the end of a very long day, in bed, while the rest of the world settles in--just me, a pen and a blank page--really helps. Sometimes I capture the highlights of a day. Sometimes, I want to let go and see where my writing takes me--hoping to "empty" myself of the burdens life seems to never stop handing over. Often writing this way unlocks more than I bargained for and before I know it, I've got six pages . . .  and writer's cramp.

I've been on a vegan chocolate chip cookie quest for nearly three years now. I remember the early days of "going vegan" and my first order of vegan conquest was the chocolate chip cookie. I'm sorry to have to say this, but if it came down to going all the way on this vegan trip, I was not going unless I had a chocolate chip cookie recipe to take with me. Departing from eggs was hardest. I knew that once the egg was out of the picture, many of my pastry loves would all but vanish from my repertoire. After extensive Google searches in the newbie vegan era, I found all these claims for "Best Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie Ever" and would try them and think to myself, First of all--where are all of these odd ingredients, and how do I get my hands on them without increasing my grocery bill threefold, not to mention, lose precious pantry space. Second of all--Has this person EVER had a real chocolate chip cookie? How long have they been baking, bless their punkin' hearts? Not to be a snob or anything, but I think with age comes wisdom. A few of these claims came from novice bakers with good intentions, but sweetie, these were dry, awful cookies. See for yourself and "vegan chocolate chip cookie" search and give the recipes a try and you will know exactly what I am talking about. Unless you go for that dry, crumbly sort of chocolate chip cookie, then you may be in luck.

When I get a new cookbook, I tend to read all of it. I am a bit of a cookbook geek like that. I want to page through every single recipe, hear the author's voice, learn from their methods, discover what and who influenced them, how and why "these" recipes were included in their book, etc. A true test of any baking cookbook, in my opinion, is the chocolate chipper. And honestly, I have found that all of the most successful chocolate chip cookie recipes I've tried to veganize have had two things in common: the ingredient ratios stay pretty much the same. And more important--the cookie dough MUST be refrigerated prior to baking. I know, you want a chocolate chip cookie, you want it NOW. So do I. But trust me, the dough will yield a more exceptional cookie after chilling it for about two hours--even better if you make the dough the day before.

I recently gifted myself the baking book: Chewy, Gooey, Crispy, Crunchy Melt-in-Your-Mouth Cookies by Alice Medrich. I ADORE this cookie book. Adore. The recipes are cleverly divided into just what the title says. You won't get very far into the book before you want to get the flour and sugar out. I wish there'd been more photos included in the book, but really, she says most of what needs to be said in describing the cookies--in great, mouth-watering details. The recipes all give weight measurements AND volume. More and more, I am preferring to bake by weight. It makes it easier to halve recipes. It also allows for more precision in dry vs. wet ingredients. I halved this cookie recipe and just keep the dough in the fridge (like you see above) and make a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies for three or four evenings in a row--or just eat half the RAW dough myself! Emotional support, folks.

Ms. Medrich is a baking diva. She appeared on the Baking with Julia PBS series and knocks out this amazing Chocolate Ruffle Cake that I have vowed to one day create in my own kitchen. So, if you want to make this vegan chocolate chip cookie recipe of hers (and you should--today if you can), you will only need one vegan thing: Ener-G Egg Replacer. Don't try to mix some flax seed and water, and don't try subbing for the eggs with silken tofu. Ick. It won't work. Just follow her recipe, making the egg substituions with a vegan's best friend, and all will be right with the world. The recipe for this cookie can be found here. Get baking!