My Beekeeping Life And Hiking Amongst the Elk to Cure Depression

After an emotionally draining weekend, Dr. Thyme and I decided a hike was in order. I say it was a "draining" weekend because I had a sort of "break" in my emotional side--not uncommon for me as I may have indirectly said, I suffer from the old depression monster or as my clinical help calls it, some sort of mood disorder. I feel it's time to come clean with it on my blog. This way, as I come in and out of here on my blogging--long absences usually tend to be a point at which I am coming to terms with "picking myself up by my bootstraps and moving on"--I can be a little more up front on the matter. I wasn't intending for my blog to be so confessional in its design--I really do want to keep the vegan food stuff part of my main focus. I have journaled in the traditional manner of notebook and pen in the past. I still keep my pens and notebooks handy. But so much of my writing takes place through my blog now (and it takes a pretty big chunk of time to blog--more than I thought it would), I feel it's time to immerse my whole self here and hopefully at the same time, be able to maybe help someone else as I move along in life. You can skip reading this part if you so desire. As I've stated before, this blog is my life, my food, and things I love (or have trouble loving).

I suffer from depression year round. But my deep depression/mood problems a bit more as the sun begins slipping away during the fall and winter months. It's odd that just when the temperatures outside are absolutely amazing and TOTALLY begging me to come outside--it's more of a challenge to do so. There are days when I think I CAN venture out and interact--like I did on Saturday for my garden club's Fall Festival, or . . . HIDE in the safe surroundings of my house. I try very hard to stay on the positive side of life and do the social part whenever I can--nine times out of ten--getting there is half the battle. This also means keeping the stress level to a minimum and people interaction down to a manageable number.

I was feeling pretty good in the earlier part of the week, then was set back pretty far when I got home from the festival Saturday night. It was just a little too much of a push that took me over the edge is all. Luckily, I maintained fairly well at the festival. Dr. Thyme helped mend me as he always does. But he uses both the practical approach his science background affords him--and this is truly where I think his help in talking me out of the blues is most beneficial, plus he uses the love of a good husband approach: listening, being empathetic and then just being there for me as the hours tick by. A new day brings new perspective. Knowing this and keeping this in mind helps. I just have to work a little harder and use one of my favorite movie lines of all times to pick myself up--it's from Cher in the movie, Moonstruck (one of my all-time favorite movies): "Snap out of it!" (It's a classic movie scene--best ever and so funny.) It helps, it really does.

Society still won't talk openly about depression quite yet. It's still "taboo". Whatever. Cripes we'll talk about every other ailment on god's green planet--why not depression? I don't imagine a HUGE Walk for the Cure fundraiser taking place for depression because, let's be honest, the folks suffering most from this aren't likely to gather in the thousands. It would nearly kill us to do so! But I can imagine all the people afflicted donning HOPE t-shirts that someday we WILL talk more openly about how, for some people, the world is just a bit harder to cope with than it is for others. I don't want a pity parade either--and I'm sure other like-minded folks would agree. But just a bit more "awareness" is all, a bit more research into the disease. I've been living with this for over twenty years back when I was first diagnosed. Those closest to me know it is a part of me, and support me however they feel they can. I have tried the medicate/sedate route as doctors in the earlier part of my diagnosis tried. I hated it. Hated the numbness, hated the weight gain, just hated all of it. Numbing you from your life is like no life at all if you ask me. I then found someone who would help me via other means and I am grateful to this day for discovering I am not alone in my quest to conquer the disease sans pharmaceuticals--this is just what works for me. Does it mean it's a bit harder to cope? Yes, but you slowly build up an arsenal of "help" remedies and seek relief quickly when the big D arrives. My doctor assisting me along the way is a huge help and always is a phone call away. As was the case this past week. I went from feeling really good, really strong to not so strong, not so good. The hike was just what the doctor would have ordered. And it helped tremendously. Nature has a way of doing that for me.

It's elk mating season. As we hiked Lone Elk Park here in St. Louis on Sunday, I was stunned to look up and find within a fairly close distance, two beautiful and LARGE creatures--probably male and female but I couldn't tell, sitting peacefully in the park. That just does something to you--I can't explain it. I just sat and stared, Dr. Thyme behind me--watching, playing it a little more safe (plus he knows I'm a fast runner!).

Me and him.

This path in the woods with the light breaking through shows how the floor of the park and the path is gradually becoming a carpet of leaves. I love being in parks this time of year.

An end of the two-hour hike. It was a great day.

I am a beekeeper. Well. . . was. . . until Colony Collapse Disorder left me bee-less. I went through a period of deep mourning after losing my one remaining bee colony last summer. At one time, I had three hives. I harvested my own honey--gently and with great care. They are my girls. You have not had good honey until you have personally tasted it dripping from the hive and honey frame you hold in your own hand, bees buzzzing all around you--scaring you a bit with their high-pitched buzzes. I've been stung, so that fear level of the first sting has never quite eased with me. Well, beekeeping is: Incredible. After this last loss, I was devastated. I know all about the vegan/no-honey thing. I think it is really a shame and wrong thinking. Most backyard beekeepers are not your mass-production honey-making types. Those I have met have probably the biggest hearts and most inclination to NOT hurt a bee in any instance. We beekeepers are the ones that don't blanch if a bee happens nearby. I am sure I will see some turn away from this blog as a result of my views on beekeeping.

I wish more people would put hives in their backyard. You have no idea how important the bee is to our food chain--and as a vegan it's even MORE important given that nearly everything I consume is produced thanks to the honeybee. I am not here to push my beliefs onto anyone, and don't want anyone doing so to me. But I will state this because it is my blog. Honey is good. Bees are good. Amen. 

Lucky for me, I ran into a fellow-beekeeper last week at my garden club. He's a pro. I was instantly interested in his knowledge and bee-speak. (Like gardeners, beekeepers are incredibly generous folks.) I told him of my beekeeping disaster. He said I was not alone in this as many beekeepers had even greater losses. (BTW, it is not cheap to invest in beekeeping--I have a lot of money sunk into my beekeeping equipment and hives.) I knew about the losses and disasters of fellow beekeepers from the articles I had read and news reports I followed. I said I wanted my hives up again in spring and asked if he'd help me get them back up and running. He said sure, but that I'd have to agree to get a bit more "technical beekeeping" knowledge under my belt. I am an organic beekeeper--I don't like medications and this or that messing with my bees. I want them to be strong and resilient but without dosing them up on chemicals. I said I was desperate to have a beekeeping "mentor". He agreed. Then he came to the house to "inspect" my hives and my current on-hand beekeeping inventory--to determine at least what we could salvage. Turns out I am in good shape--a lot better than I had imagined. I was given a reading assignment and beekeeping house cleaning chores. I will be ordering my bees via the mail in early spring.